The following is taken from a California newspaper: Fire Authorities in
 California found a corpse in a burnt out section of forest while
 assessing the damage done by a forest fire. The deceased male was dressed
 in a full wet suit, complete with a dive tank, flippers, and facemask. A
 post-mortem examination revealed that the person died not from burns but
 from massive internal injuries. Dental records provided a positive
 identification.
 
 Investigators then set about Determining how a fully clad diver ended
 up in the middle of a forest fire. It was revealed that, on the day of the
 fire, This person went on a diving trip off the coast------some 20 miles
 away from the forest. The firefighters, seeking to control the fire as
 quickly as possible, called in a fleet of helicopters with very large
 buckets. The buckets were dropped into the ocean for rapid filling, then
 flown to the forest fire and emptied.
 You guessed it. One minute our diver was making like Flipper in the
 Pacific, the next he was doing the breaststroke in a fire bucket 300
 feet in the air. Apparently, he extinguished exactly 5'10" of the fire.
 Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed.
 
 STILL THINK YOU'RE HAVING A BAD DAY? THINK AGAIN.
 The following is taken from a Florida newspaper: A man was working on
 his motorcycle on his patio and his wife was in the house in the kitchen.
 The man was racing the engine on the motorcycle and somehow, the
 motorcycle
 slipped into gear. The man, still holding the handlebars, was dragged
 through a glass patio door and, along with the motorcycle, was dumped onto
 the floor inside the house. The wife, hearing the crash, ran into the
 dining room, and found her husband laying on the floor, cut and
 bleeding,the
 motorcycle laying next to him and the patio door shattered. The wife ran
 to
 the phone and summoned an ambulance. Because they lived on a fairly large
 hill, the wife went down the several flights of long steps to the street
 to
 direct the paramedics to her husband. After the ambulance arrived and
 transported the husband to the hospital, the wife picked up the motorcycle
 and pushed it outside. Seeing that gas had spilled on the floor, the wife
 obtained some paper towels, blotted up the gasoline, and threw the towels
 in the toilet. The husband was treated at the hospital and was released to
 come home.
 
 After arriving home, he looked at the shattered patio door and the damage
 done to his motorcycle. He became despondent, went into the
 bathroom, sat on the toilet and smoked a cigarette. After finishing
 the cigarette, he flipped it between his legs into the toilet bowl while
 still seated.
 
 The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard a loud explosion and her
 husband screaming. She ran into the bathroom and found her husband lying
 on
 the floor. His trousers had been blown away and he was suffering burns on
 the buttocks, the back of his legs and his groin. The wife again ran to
 the
 phone and called for an ambulance. The same ambulance crew was dispatched
 and the wife met them at the street. The paramedics loaded the husband on
 the stretcher and began carrying him to the street.
 
 While they were going down the stairs to the street accompanied by the
 wife,
 one of the paramedics asked the wife how the husband had burned himself.
 She told them and the paramedics started laughing so hard, one of them
 tripped. The stretcher dumped the husband out. He fell down the remaining
 steps and broke his arm.