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Helen
Keller |
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Q. Why does Helen Keller play the piano with one hand? A. She sings with the
other. |
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Q. Did you hear about Helen Keller's speech impediment? A. Calluses. |
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Q. How come Helen Keller can't have kids?? A. Because she's DEAD! |
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Q. Did you hear about Helen Keller's new book? A. "Around the
block in 80 days" |
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Q. How did Helen Keller drive herself crazy? A. Trying to read a
stucco wall. |
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Q: What is Helen Keller's favorite color? A: Corduroy. |
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Q. Why is all of Helen Keller's face burnt? A. She was bobbing for French
fries. |
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Q: How did Helen Keller burn the side of her face? A: She answered the
iron. |
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Q: How did she burn the other side of her face? A: They called back. |
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Q. How can you tell if Helen Keller has brushed her teeth? A. By the gleam in her eye. |
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Q: Why was A: Her dog was blind
too. |
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Q. Why is one of Helen Keller's legs yellow? A. Because her dog is
blind too. |
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Q. How can you play a dirty joke on
Helen Keller? A. Move the furniture
or put doorknobs on the wall. |
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Q. Why does Helen Keller masturbate with one hand? A. She needs the other
to moan with. |
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Q. How did she burn her fingers? A. Reading the waffle
iron. |
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Q. What did she do when she fell down the well? A. She screamed her
fingers off. |
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Q. How come she didn't scream when she fell off the cliff? A. She was wearing
mittens. |
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Q. Why does she wear skin tight pants? A. So you can read her
lips. |
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Q. What did Helen Keller consider as oral sex? A. A manicure. |
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Q. What's this (slowly waving fingers)? A. Helen Keller
moaning. |
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Q. Why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide? A. You would too if
your name was 'Urghrrghrghr'. |
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Q. Have you heard of the new Helen Keller doll? A. Wind it up and it
walks into walls. |
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Q: Who is the cruelest man in the world? A: The guy who raped
Helen Keller, then cut off her hands so she couldn't scream for help. |
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Q. What did HK's parent's do to punish her?
1. Rearranged the
furniture
2. Left the plunger in
the toilet bowl
3. They put saran-wrap
over the toilet.
4. Put her in a round
room and told her there's a penny in the corner
5. Washed her hands
with soap
6. Gave her bird-seed
to read.
7. They stomped on all
her Braille books with golf shoes. |
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Quote of the day. " " -- Helen Keller. |